In our darkest, most desperate moments, we tend to follow even the tiniest pinprick of light in hopes of a better tomorrow. It is at the lowest of our lows that we find the strength and the resources to not only seek the light, but become the light.
Almost three years ago, I was overwhelmed with desperation. I was pregnant with my second son, the first still a baby himself. My marriage and finances were in shambles, and I had reached a level of depression I had never known.
I became bitter and angry, easily irritable and pessimistic. My temper flared at nearly anything and I started feeling this deep, dark rage that was enveloping who I was.
And then I discovered witchcraft, on Pinterest of all places. Being a depressed, stay at home mom and scrolling through Pinterest was like being a teenage boy discovering internet porn for the first time, especially when I discovered my first “pin” explaining the definition of a witch.
I’ve always believed differently than those around me. As an empath, I am highly sensitive to other people and their energies. As a child, I felt and saw things so differently that it became an issue. I was made fun of, ridiculed, conditioned like most children to believe that to be normal was the goal, but it had to be their normal.
As children we’re taught that normal is one religion, it’s never leaving your comfort zone or taking any risks, it’s going to school and then going to more school and then settling for a job you hate, or making babies. It’s funny really because normal is so fluid among humans, with no true definition and forever changing depending on who you ask.
For me, discovering witchcraft was discovering the normal that I wanted. It told me that it was absurd not to follow my intuition, that it was absolutely okay to delve in things that other people considered strange or scary. I learned that almost everything I believed before was either false or not for my highest good, including everything from beliefs to friendships and relationships, personal habits, and even jobs.
Through spiritual development and magick, through trial and error and plenty of suffering, I found myself for the first time in the 25 years that I had been alive, and I truly believe it saved my life and ultimately, made me a better mother to the three sons I have now.
I want to share all of the ways in which I’ve become a more compassionate, kinder mother and human being through my discovery of witchcraft. If you are where I was, or you know you’re a witch but you’re afraid to say it out loud, I hope this is a gentle nudge to being and loving exactly who you are. After all, we’re all a little magickal, it’s just that very few of us get to discover it.
Healing the body, soul, and family with magick
Before witchcraft, my idea of “healing” meant hospitals and injuries. I had no idea that not only can you heal your spirit and soul, but that it’s actually important that you do. This covers everything from self care to healing your own children with herbs and natural medicine, which is the path I’ve chosen.
As you probably know, many styles of witchcraft exist and though many do, not all of them involve healing and medicinal remedies. I chose this path intuitively as I am studying herbalism and interested in this aspect of my own (and my family’s) physical and spiritual health.
For now I believe it’s important and beneficial to blend Western and Eastern medicine and techniques, especially when it comes to our babies. Unless it’s an emergency, I always search for a natural remedy before resorting to manufactured medicine.
I believe in the healing powers of spells and rituals, in the healing abilities of plants and other natural resources such as crystals and energy, and I was relieved to learn that as a logical person that has questioned magick and its existence many times, science and magick really do go hand in hand.
The ultimate reason that becoming a witch helped me become a better mom is through healing. I learned how to heal myself, how to love myself, how to recognize emotional wounds, how to ask for help when I needed it. These are skills we aren’t taught anymore and I am grateful that I can pass them along to my own children so they will be able to do the same for themselves later on.
From there, I’ve learned how to recognize emotional wounds within my family and I’ve learned how to begin the process of healing them. I’ve learned natural ways to treat colds and anxiety and burns and sadness and through that, I’ve given my family a healthy, calm environment that promotes well-being and contentment.
Up until that point, I was taught that self care was a sign of vanity or arrogance, that growing spiritually or trying to heal was pointless or even crazy. It wasn’t until I became a witch that I understood how vital it is to care for ourselves as we care for others, and that healing must go both ways.
A life of patience, kindness, and compassion
Patience, kindness, and compassion should be skills that you list on your resume. Nobody ever talks about how hard it is to maintain those three skills, but you’ve heard how important they are your whole life. Those three skills are detrimental as a mother, and they don’t come naturally to everyone.
Once I became a witch and knew without a doubt what I believed, it gave me the space I needed to focus on the type of mom (and human) I wanted to be. It’s funny that witches are stereotyped as evil, devil-worshipping women that possibly eat children. In actual life, witches are the kindest, most humble people you will ever meet.
I wanted to be that witch – the good witch, the healing witch, a witch of light and love. And in turn, it’s allowed me to take on a softer, gentler manner and personality which greatly benefits my children.
Doing life with them is so much more pleasant and enjoyable when I empathize with them, when I stay mindful and present, and when I treat them with the kindness and compassion that I want them to treat others with. Ultimately, this is helping me to raise better human beings that will pass this knowledge and light along when I’m gone.
Prediction and Outcome
I suppressed my intuition for much of my life for two reasons – I didn’t know how to follow it and I was terrified of it. Even though my gut was right most of the time, I struggled like hell to believe in something bigger than myself. I was afraid to trust the universe and I constantly chose against my better judgement, only to finally face the fact that my intuition was real, it was right, and I needed to shut the hell up and listen to it.
So I did. And let me tell you, it is a terrifying thing to surrender to the Universe and truly let it go, and then it’s magnificently beautiful and freeing and you wonder why you were so afraid to begin with.
Once I chose to listen to my intuition, the opportunities to do so were endless. Everywhere I turned I was faced with another situation that had my inner voice screaming at me from all sides. I now understand the terms “mother’s intuition” and “women’s intuition” and why they exist, and paying attention to my own has changed my life.
Knowing that I can trust myself and the universe implicitly is a wonderful feeling, and has even assisted in the safety and health of myself and my children. I’m not saying that I can predict the future and save them from some traumatic event, but I have experienced smaller instances where listening to my inner voice ended up saving me a lot of misery.
For example, a few months ago I had a candle lit on a table that’s slightly wobbly but still keeps things out of reach of my boys. It had been lit for a while and was at the point where a puddle of hot wax had formed in the middle. Out of nowhere, I had a burning sensation along my left arm for just a few seconds and immediately looked to the candle, which was untouched all the way across the room on its table.
I didn’t visualize anything or hear a voice, but instinctively I decided to blow the candle out and move it off the table. Just moments later, my middle son backed into the table hard enough to knock it over and I could not let go of the fact that where the candle had been on that table was where my son’s left arm was when he knocked it over.
Maybe you’d only consider this a coincidence, but given the circumstances, I’m eternally grateful for that instinct and I pay attention to it every single day. Becoming a witch has taught me how valuable I am, and how powerful my mind truly is, and I’m excited to pass this on to my own children.
Open mind, open heart
We are living in some pretty dark times, guys. You’d think with next year being 2020 that we’d be a little more advanced when it comes to how we treat others, but this is far from the truth. I’ve always felt like a voice for those who haven’t found their own, for the underestimated and misunderstood, for the lonely and confused.
And then I became all of those things and for a couple of years, I was a voice for nobody. I was barely a whisper. Through the discovery of witchcraft and beginning the process of healing myself, I began to get my voice back and my heart began to open up as I let the walls I had created finally fall away.
One of the most beautiful aspects of witchcraft is the emphasis on loving and respecting other people, pets, and the earth. Most witches that I’ve come across perform only white magick, or good magick, and won’t delve in anything that harms something or someone else.
Personally, I fully believe that what goes around comes back around and have been at both ends of that cycle before. Witchcraft helped me break the cycle of those toxic feelings and thoughts and replace them with feelings of love and empathy for others. I’m much less quick to judge now and am quicker to forgive, and we all know how poisonous holding a grudge can be.
Spiritual Guides and Guidance
With this one, you’re either going to think I’ve gone insane or you’ll understand because you’ve experienced it yourself, but either way I’m sure you’ve heard of spirit guides before. They appear to some of us as animals, ancestors, visions, apparitions, even numbers and other symbols.
With witchcraft, you are encouraged to channel and communicate with your guide (or guides) as they offer wisdom and insight that you wouldn’t have by yourself.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been a full time stay at home of three boys for five years. It has been the most tumultuous, chaotic, lonely time of my life, but also the very best, most fulfilling time. Being any sort of parent is an emotional roller coaster and is easily one of the toughest jobs.
To this day, I struggle with mom guilt and periods of depression, but becoming a witch has alleviated some of those struggles. The first time that I performed a ritual to invite my spirit guides into my life, I felt the energy of both my home and myself shift immensely.
Over time, the loneliness grew into a strength until I no longer felt it as loneliness, but instead as spiritual company. Now when I’m alone, I feel the warmth and comfort of the spirit guides that accompany me. That feeling can only come with complete peace, which is something else that witchcraft has granted me.
Finding Balance in Chaotic Baby Energy
As a mom with anxiety, having three kids can mean feeling overwhelmed very frequently, and that’s one of my main anxiety triggers. For a while I was convinced that this was just how my life would be from now on and I might as well get over it. Eventually I realized that I was suffering so much that I couldn’t enjoy my time with my children and I knew I had to do something.
Witchcraft has given me the tools and resources necessary to get through my anxiety by working with it. Instead of trying to banish or control the overwhelming feelings I have, I’ve learned to shift that energy into something positive and even productive through visualization, rituals, and meditation.
I’ve also begun to learn how to help my own children do this in times of stress or anger and although it doesn’t always work, I’ve definitely had some success with it.
I’ve also been able to get them outside more and involved with the craft a little bit by having them join me in gardening, foraging, crafting, and even meditation and spells. You’d be surprised how attentive little ones are when magick is involved.
Becoming a witch has not only allowed me to discover and appreciate my inner power, it’s allowed me to heal, and it’s offered resources for healing my loved ones in ways that weren’t available to me before. It’s opened my heart, my mind, and my spirit and has truly helped me become not only a better mom, but a better person as well. Magick tends to do that if we let it.
Happy journeys! 🌙